1. Visualize.

Did you know there are studies that back up the theory that our brains cannot tell the difference from a real experience and a vividly imagined one? For this reason, visualization can be a powerful tool to grow self-love. Spend time visualizing achieving your greatest goal, living in alignment with your highest self, feeling the love of a partner you deserve. Envision the very best version of yourself. Who is she? What does her daily routine look like? What are her priorities? What are her promises to herself? Start with one or two of those actions and start to implement them into your routine. Live as if you are already her. This will help you grow a little bit everyday to become closer to the best version of yourself. Honor your highest self by visualizing what that looks like and starting to live the way that version of you would.

2. Date yourself.

This is something I’ve started doing myself. I know I am biased here, but I feel like I am a stellar girlfriend. Certainly not without fault but I give so much effort to helping that person feel loved, helping them achieve their goals/dreams. I love surprising them with treats or dates that show my love for them. When previous partners lacked belief in themself, I was their number one cheerleader. In my most recent break up I had the thought, “What if I put this much effort into making MYSELF feel loved.” So I made a conscious effort to sit with myself and do the things that bring me joy. I've even planned romantic trips for myself. When I struggle with imposter syndrome, I think, “What would I say to my partner?” Then I remind myself that my thoughts are the only thing that limit my ability to achieve my goals. Put the same love and energy you would into a romantic relationship into a relationship with yourself. 

3. Protect your peace.

For me this came in the form of setting boundaries. These boundaries are for others and myself. I have people in my life that I love abundantly but they don’t necessarily align with what I desire for myself. It could be their desire to party away pain, looking at the glass half empty, or a plethora of other habits that ultimately won’t help us find peace. It doesn’t mean I will cut those people from my life entirely, but learning to say no in order to protect your peace is encouraged around here. It is okay to put time limits on those who don’t elevate you to your highest self. A big boundary I’ve had to set for myself is recognizing unhealthy mental habits and choosing an action that will replace that intrusive thought or habit. It’s easy to dwell on things from time to time but it takes great mental strength to adhere to a boundary you have set for your own mind.

4. Look for the value within who you are rather than what you look like on the outside.

No one should be shamed for pursuing what makes you feel good. So yes, get your nails done, try a new hair color, and make your daily trip to Orange Theory if that’s what makes you feel good about you! That being said, know that your value as a human being is separate from anything you may or may not appear to be physically. What makes you beautiful is your capacity to love, the strength you have within you that has gotten you through your adversity, and all of the other traits that are unique to YOU. Make a list of the character traits that make you YOU. Try to look at that list often. Add traits you are working on and tell yourself that you are becoming more and more of those things everyday. Make these affirmations daily to build on the narrative that your value is so much more than any outer beauty you also encompass on top of your beautiful soul.